Tag Archives: introvert

In Defense of Extroverts

You may find it strange that I’m blogging about this. Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage, would have you believe that we live in an “extroverted world” since one in four people are introverts.

Then I, somehow, made friends in most of them. Seriously, most of my friends are on the introvert side of the spectrum. I have no idea how or why that happened.

It’s these sorts of statements that upset me. >:(

Sadly, I’ve also known pretentious introverts who did nothing but sing the praises of introversion—and, by extension, themselves—to the point of negatively stereotyping extroverts (insensitive, unintelligent, etc. Heck, one introvert I know even called them “vampires” since they re-energize being around other people). There are numerous articles saying that introverts are attractive and sexy—one even comparing them to James Bond—using descriptions that I thought were what any man should be in order to attract women. While they don’t come out and say it—and I admit I could be reading into this—the implication seems to be that introverts make for superior spouses. Perhaps even superior human beings.

So, while I apparently live in an extroverted world, I’ve run in circles that derided extroverts or at least my extroverted tendencies. I’ve often hated my own personality because of it. I wasn’t allowed to get animated or boisterous: these were always unattractive social faux pas, no matter the context (I was even accused of being homosexual because of it, since, apparently, straight men are always introverted [note the sarcasm]). I can recall playing video games with a particularly pretentious introverted “friend” (who later stabbed me in the back) telling me the excited squeal I made when I pulled off something crazy was a sound that was meant only for the bedroom (I’m sure you get what he meant). Disliking loneliness was a weakness. Being talkative was a sin. It even seemed at times that introversion was the “more Christian” personality to have.

Stop it with the stereotypes! Extroverts (and introverts, for that matter) are far more nuanced than many people realize. Just read this article on extroverts. It dispels the myths. Just because extroverts like being around people doesn’t mean they can’t stand being alone. Extroverts are human beings, and that means they sometimes lead some time to themselves. The opposite is true of introverts: humans are social creatures, and studies have shown that they are happier when connecting with each other, so introverts can’t hide in their rooms forever. One is not superior to the other. Anyone who says so is a narcissist trying to obliquely brag about how awesome he thinks he is.

Maybe this blog, in the long run, will serve less as a defense of extroverts and more a defense of my own personality. I admit that I take it personally any disparaging things said about extroverts. As you can see, it’s something that didn’t happen in a vacuum.

It’s time extroverts and introverts alike learned to appreciate one another and learn from one another. We’re all wonderful people with much to offer. We are equals.

Don’t silence the extroverts—silence the prejudice.

Are Extroverted Writers at a Disadvantage?

I do a Google search for “extroverted writer” and discover that an old TUFW classmate has a book on the subject. Who knew?

I sometimes wonder if my writing is hampered by my own personality. What do I mean by that? The fact that I’m an extrovert.

Traditionally, writers are seen as introverts. It’s not surprising since they have to retreat into their office (or, as I like to call it, the “Fortress of Solitude”) away from people and other distractions so they can pound out their daily word count. Writing is a lonely art and profession. That’s why it seemed best-suited for introverts, who thrive in such an environment. This isn’t to say there are no extroverted writers. Just look at journalists. They’re always out and about looking for material.

But then you have those rare birds like me who are extroverted but also filled with stories to tell. It does have its advantages (I’m a pretty good salesman and enjoy networking), but I can be pulled away from actually writing if offered hang-out time. That’s partly why I had to institute a new plan for how much material I could produce. It doesn’t help that I’ve seemingly become popular lately. This weekend alone I have several friends, my old English/writing professor, and family who want my attention this weekend. In anticipation of this, I’ve been scrambling to get stuff done while also going to my day job, so you can imagine how stressful that can be. Admittedly, most of these deadlines are self-imposed, but they nonetheless hang over me. (I’m particularly disappointed I haven’t made a new “But I Digress…” episode in a month).

To use the old adage, it seems like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Either I produce new material but miss out on social activities or I socialize to reenergize myself but get nothing done. I can’t quite combine both activities (if you know how, please tell me!). What makes it doubly difficult is, as an extrovert, I’m more easily drawn to being around other people, and by extension taken away from my work. That isn’t to say that I don’t love my work, because I do. I’m a storyteller by nature. But I also know that if I didn’t have the discipline to say, “No,” sometimes—indeed, oftentimes—I’d never get anything written.

Yet as I type those words, I’m reminded that procrastination is a common problem for most writers. I’ve read many articles talking about how writers will often find anything else to do besides writing, how they’ll come up with excuses not to do it. It could even be important things like chores that need done. And as I mentioned above, the majority of writers are introverts, so even they’re guilty of not getting work done. They just have different reasons.

What do you, True Believers? Are extroverted writers at a disadvantage compared to their introverted peers? Do need to take special steps to remain productive in a normally solitary profession? What are those steps? I’d love to hear your ideas!