NaPoWriMo, Days 20 and 21: ‘Braggart’ and ‘Rejected Fortune Cookie Messages’

By Nathan On April 21st, 2013 | 396 views

 

I had to make up for another lost day today. Sorry!

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem using at least five words from a list given participants. I used more than five. The words I was supposed to use are in bold.

Today’s prompt was to write poetic fortune cookie messages. I wrote a list of humorous (and sometimes nerdy) rejected messages. I could’ve written more, but time didn’t allow for it.

Enjoy!

Day 20:
Braggart
By Nathan Marchand

He is a deadly combination:
A dunderhead with a massive ego.
He was fond of making rodomontades
About his many achievements:
The slaying of a bilious Cyclops,
The miraculous rescue of a maiden,
The invention of a clean energy generator.

He fancies himself non-pareil,
But I find truth to be elusive in his stories,
So I take them all with a grain of salt.
He is a boy who thinks himself a man,
Because he was abandoned by his cowbird father.
His tales are a thin veil he pulls over his face
To hide glasses that make him look like an ugly owl,
A cover-up for the potential he squandered,
To convince people he’s anyone but an oversized adolescent
You’d rather be upwind of after he eats cheese.

My words would be artillery against his ego
Had his skull not been thicker than a quahog.
Twice I have tried to help him,
But his mind remains in the gutter,
Collecting BS to sell to the gullible.
I pity him more than I could hate him
Because one day he’ll have nowhere to abscond from lies.

Day 21:
Rejected Fortune Cookie Messages
By Nathan Marchand

Never trust the next woman you meet who’s wearing a red dress.

The Doctor lies—just like you’ll learn your significant other does.

Talk to the next person you sit next to at a movie theatre—it might be a sweet beginning.

You will eat another fortune cookie, and its message will cancel this one out.

I am Batman, and so are you.

You’ll have a baby—even if you’re a man.

You will use more emoticons. J ;) :D

You’ll notice this message doesn’t match your horoscope. Sorry.

You are the chosen one, I just don’t know what for.

Your lucky numbers are 5, 7, 9, 11, 16, 21, and 3,974,198.

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