30 Lessons I’ve Learned by Age 30

Yeah, it’s slightly insulting, but it’s still nerdy and funny.

Today is my 30th birthday. (You my now sing. Thank you.) So, in celebration, I thought I would entertain and enlighten you with 30 important lessons I’ve learned in the first three decades of my life. Enjoy! Live long and prosper.

1. It’s okay to ask God questions, even about faith’s “fundamentals.”

2. Never date your stalker.

3. Make sure you gather a raccoon’s stash of berries before it eats them.

4. Always take a girl to either a horror movie or a tearjerker on a date: she’ll either cling to you the whole time or cry on your shoulder. 😉

5. Tenacity pays off when you’re a writer.

6. Love is more important than money.

7. People are more important than things.

8. Know what you want and go for it.

9. Don’t hesitate to seek justice.

10. Always be honest with God and people.

11. Don’t be afraid to terminate a friendship if it becomes unproductive.

12. Jell-O is evil—it causes blindness.

13. Despair is easy; joy is a challenge.

14. Women are the greatest enigma God ever created, and men will spend a lifetime trying to solve that mystery.

15. You’re never too old to enjoy cartoons.

16. Know when to shut up…

17. …and when to speak your mind.

18. Romance often comes at unexpected times and places.

19. Take pride in your hard work, even if it goes unrewarded.

20. Even Jesus Christ, Who was perfect, made enemies, so don’t be surprised if you make any.

21. Learn to laugh at yourself (but not too much).

22. “Normal” is a relative term.

23. Wisdom often comes in unexpected packages—like little sisters.

24. Be yourself. If some people don’t like you, that’s their problem.

25. Never lose your sense of wonder.

26. Assume the best about a person unless given reason not to.

27. Answers aren’t always easy.

28. The only unforgiveable sin is unbelief.

29. Never be afraid to try new things and be adventurous.

And finally…

30. The Doctor lies.

‘The Fall of the House of Kyzer’ begins serilization today!

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Today marks the beginning of the serialization of my novella, The Fall of the House of Kyzer. Here’s a synopsis for you:

In Thyrion, power is everything.

But not for Jaysynn, the youngest of the Kyzer royal family who rule the city with an iron fist. He alone is unable to manipulate magic, making him an outcast in his own family. However, General Dracon, himself non-Select, sees the prince’s potential and trains him to be a warrior in his own right.

In the wake of the Cataclysm, Jaysynn is the only Kyzer to survive. Ascending to the throne, he is overwhelmed by the weight of the crown and the devastation of his city. What’s worse, he learns of a conspiracy brewing within his own ranks. Even as Emperor, he feels like an outcast.

It will introduce a character (not Jaysynn) who, I hope, will be a prominent villain in future stories.

Chapters of this novella will be posted on the website every Tuesday and Thursday for the next several months. You can also subscribe via our e-mail newsletter. We also post a “behind-the-scenes” blog every Friday. We love getting feedback from our readers.

To join the adventure, click here.

 

But I Digress…, Episode 13: My Review of ‘Man of Steel’

“But I Digress…”
Hosted by Nathan Marchand

(My apologies for posting this late. YouTube was giving me issues).

It’s a bird! No, it’s a plane! It’s Nate Marchand!

Superman, the world’s most famous superhero, made his grand return to the big screen after a seven-year absence in “Man of Steel.” But is the movie more powerful than a locomotive? Being a “superfan” myself, I review the film–after doing some “superhero-ing” myself.

You can read my text review of the film on my Superhero Examiner page here: http://www.examiner.com/review/it-s-a-bird-it-s-a-plane-it-s-a-good-superman-reboot.

Please rate, subscribe, comment, and share!

www.NathanJSMarchand.com

No Superman because YouTube is stupid

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I was going to post a new episode of my vlog, “But I Digress…,” which is a review of the new Superman film, Man of Steel, but YouTube won’t let me. Or rather, it makes my video bug out and gets muted at the same place every time I uploaded it. I don’t know if it’s because the video’s encoding is corrupted (it plays fine on my laptop) or if YouTube is being a jerk because I used two pieces of Superman music. Those are the only explanations I can think of. If it’s the latter, what’s the problem? I’m using them to promote the new film and do some comedy! Last I heard, that was allowed in copyright law.

Regardless, this isn’t the first time I’ve had issues posting videos on YouTube. I did e-mail their customer support, but I have no idea if that will help.

I’m to the point where I think I may start posting videos elsewhere, even if it means I won’t get as much exposure. Perhaps I’ll find a video plug-in for WordPress. I also hear good things about Vimeo. Or YouTube will fix things. Who knows what where my future videos will find their home?

If I did “move ” I wouldn’t abandon my YouTube channel. I’d use it for previews of my videos, or perhaps for personal videos. Only time will tell.

Until then, please be patient as I figure out how and where to get my new vlog posted.

How I Met Silver Sable

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a week, but I’ve been kinda busy. If you’re friends with me on Facebook, though, you already know about this.

After six weeks of searching, I’ve finally bought a new car.

True Believers, meet Silver Sable!

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Yes, I bought another Ford Escort ZX2. However, this one is pretty much my last car, only better. It’s the 2002 model with a sunroof, six-CD changer, and lots of after-market accessories. Since my last Escort was named after a lesser-known Marvel Comic superheroine (Elektra), I decided this one should be, too. Here’s a picture of my car’s namesake:

SilverSable442

It’s an ironic story how I found her. First, I have to say my primary tool for finding a car was www.Craigslist.org. While it usually yielded the most prospects out of other websites, it also had the most scams. Finding a car on Craigslist in like online dating: you fall in love with what you see in the photo, but the real thing may not be as pretty. I looked at and test drove many cars in my price range. My top three traits were reliability, durability, and good gas mileage. So, I spent most of my time looking at Toyotas, Hondas, Nissans (sometimes), and Escorts. I went to dealerships and private sellers. I even traveled two hours to Hobart, Indiana, (which is perilously close to scary Gary) to look at a car.

My favorite “lemon” was this 1995 Honda Accord with 94,000 miles being sold in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I arrived at a small apartment. While I was looking at the car (which was definitely rough around the edges), a young woman wearing Arabic garb peeked out the door of the complex and then slipped back in. A young guy came out. I guess she was his girlfriend? Anyway, he spent the better part of ten minutes talking to me like a used car salesman. He claimed a Mexican friend of his could mix all the cosmetic problems for $800. I thought, Nice try, kid. I did test drive the car. It handled well and was quite fun to drive. But I discovered the deal breaker–the odometer didn’t work. As far as I knew, it had 194,000 miles on it. I told him this, and he claimed it went out on the previous owner, who then guessed how many miles to put on the title. I shook his hand, thanked him, and left.

Anyway, back to how I found Sable…

When I searched Craigslist, I only searched for ads with photos. My Dad, however, searched for everything. The original ad with Sable had no pictures or a phone number; only an e-mail address. But the price and miles (94,000) were right. Dad e-mailed him, giving the seller my number. He called me a few days later, saying his name was Brandon. He told me about the car and informed me that he’d added pictures to the ad. I looked at it and fell in love with the car. It was gorgeous. I told him Dad and I would come look at it the next day after church. It was a short trip to Elkhart.

We arrived and test drove the car with Brandon with us, who kept bragging about how good the car was. He was only the second owner. He’d driven it for 25,000 miles. The car, so far as he knew, came from Chicago. When he owned it, he did all the routine maintenance early and only he and his father–a Ford certified mechanic–worked on it. He offered to have his father replace the timing belt or fix the paint scuffs at no extra cost. We talked him down a little in price. Then he gave me a cell phone car charger and cassette adaptor for no extra cost and gave me $40 to fill my tank.

Best car buying experience I’ve ever had.

An Open Letter to My Future Wife

Dear Beloved,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? My apologies. I’ve had a tumultuous time wrestling with doubts about whether or not I’ll ever find you. Or rather, if God will ever lead us to each other. You know I go through times like that. Some are short, some not-so-short. But when I throw off the dead weight, I realize longing for you is part of how God wired me. To bury that would be to deny part of who I am. I must believe I’m not meant to be alone.

This letter is different. It is being shared on the Internet for friends and family to read. However, it will be the first and only time I do such a thing. Lovers are entitled to their secrets. Some people may read this and call me desperate, naïve, unmanly, or something worse. They may lecture me on “trusting God for a spouse” or “not looking” or a myriad of other things (I’ve heard them all). Let them. They can judge me, label me, and/or condemn me. I know where I stand with you, and I know where I stand with God. Their opinions can’t and won’t change that.

The mystery of who you may be both excites and pains me. Maybe I’ve not met you yet. Maybe you’re reading this letter right now on one of the sites I’ve posted it. Maybe we’re friends right now but love has yet to blossom. In which case, how did we meet? How will that love form? I hope and pray it’s a great story. While I still mock bad (or sappy) romance stories in fiction, I love it when they’re done well. I’m not foolish enough to think our story will be a romantic comedy or a fairy tale (though if it even remotely resembles “The Princess Bride”, I’ll be happy), I still want a love story that we’ll enjoy recounting to our kids and grandkids until we’re old and gray. A story that will amuse and encourage everyone who hears it. In other words, a story crafted by the Author of romance Himself. I hope that is your prayer, too.

Life should be an adventure. I’m working hard to add more adventure to my own. Not just a fun adventure, but an adventure with danger and high stakes; where I’m doing great things for God’s glory. That’s the sort of life I want to invite to join me on. When God said man shouldn’t be alone and made a “help-mate” (or in Hebrew, “ezer kenegdo,” which means “lifesaver”) for him, it was to join the man on the great work He had commissioned him to do. So, I hope you’re adventurous. Like Indiana Jones, I tend to get in over my head sometimes. I’ll need a partner who can help me get through it. I promise it’ll be exciting.

While I can promise an exciting marriage, but I can’t promise a wealthy one. We live in uncertain financial times and I studied to work in a field that doesn’t guarantee oodles of money. I’ve been hurt by a woman who found more security in a man’s money than in his love. It’s often left me wondering if I was too poor to marry. But I know God values wisdom above wealth, so I trust you do, too. A man who is rich but unwise is a terrible husband. “Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil” (Prov. 15:16). No matter what financial difficulties assail us, I know we’ll get through them together.

Though you may not know it, I’ve failed you. I’ve failed you in word, deed, and thought. And I know I’ll do the same when we’re together, though I won’t want to. This agonizes me. You deserve nothing less than a man who’s perfect. Then I tell myself, “No. She deserves a man who’s perfect for her.” I want to be this man for you. But when I am less than perfect, I pray you will forgive me. Loving you as Christ loves the church is a high ideal that I will spend the rest of my life trying to attain, and I will misstep along the way. May you love me regardless of my mistakes.

So, Beloved, whether we’ve met yet or not, pray for me as I pray for you. Don’t be afraid to voice your loneliness or your longing for me. Let the haters hate. Find friends and family who will encourage you to be even more of the woman of God I know you are as you wait. May God grant you patience now (you’ll need it to handle me). 😉

May we soon come together to serve God more than we ever could have apart.

Your (Future) Husband,
Nate